COMMENT | Government of doom that is afraid of Zoom

COMMENT | I begin this week’s column with a rap. Let us sing along, like it is a Hari Raya song. Here it goes:

This new Malaysian government is a doom.

Afraid of using zoom. To face the nation of gloom. Politics where corruption is heirloom.

They came in through the backdoor through a little room. Some flew like witches with brooms. Then what they saw Covid awaiting, was an economy that went kaboom!

The backdoor gang sang the song "fatty fatty boom boom … Every night steal corns or jagong under the dark light of the moon.

The kaboom-zoom-boom boom-back room gang-with brooms set up a regime in a tense moment of high noon.

"Zoom-Ala-Kazoom," said Ali Baba and 44 old thieves with Harry Potter's brooms. They thanked the backdoor gang for many moons.

Let us not have parliament with Zoom, they said to the old regime. Let us mute all of you and have meetings every 12 full moons.

We may not have economic boom, the regime proclaimed, but we sure will have a party of "fatty fatty boom booms". Every full moon.

"Here, you losers: take these stones. Turn them into your tombs,"sSaid the chief boom-boom officer to the kaboomed soldiers of old regime.

As ritual, the backdoor leaders each got a broom. To clean society in a time of doom. They used it instead to fly to the moon.

"Free at last! Free at last! Thank you, chief boom boom!" the Ali Baba nyonya and 44 thieves sang with microphones made of brooms.

But chief backdoor boom boom did not hear the roaring sound of aumm aumm aumm from the Ali Baba nyonya coalition party whose members are howling under an eternal full moon.

"People are angry with no parliament via Zoom!" yelled members of opposition-gloom. Chief boom boom said: "Let them eat Ketum. We care only to party till the moonlight goes kaboom! and till we fatten our boom boom!"

- The Malaycoronapolitics rap

But seriously folks, we might as well have parliamentary congregations in a cave if fear of the public is the reason for such act of destruction of democracy. Future parliaments will be about opening speeches followed by "doa selamats". After that we’ll have "joli katak" sessions celebrating victories.